Forecast Cloudy

The lyrics to the Joni Mitchell song are remarkable pertinent to to The Cloud we know todow.

I keep getting bombarded with offers of Cloud storage (Apple/iTunes) and Cloud Players (Amazon). These are all very well and each has offered me 5GB of free storage so I can listen to my own music anywhere. However these are dependent on a reliable internet connection , so it's fine if you are at home or at a friends , or maybe in an area with reliable free WIFI. In a 4G area it will also be fine and 10GB is a hell of a lot of space to play with.

But you have to remember it's only available when you have a connection. When 4G is ubiquitous speed will not be an issue for anyone , but remember that your daya and files will effectively under someone elses control.

On the numbers involved my first desktop computer had a 10 MB hard disc , (thats 10 minutes of normal quality MP3 music!) , but I could still play colour graphic games under the DOS operating system.

The amounts of cloud storage would enable you to store 400 albums of music , a dozen DIVX movies but there wouldnt be enough room to store a High Definition movie within the 5GB, although they do offer you more space at a price. Though I would rather watch through Netflix or Blinkbox and again you come down to the issue of having a permnent reliable connection.

You are not at the moment able to watch a streamed movie in a remote Scottish Glen on on the train from Aberdeen to London.

I still havent used my Cloud Storage yet ........

Kitchen Armoury

Never really thought about before , but almost everything you have in the kitchen could be used as a lethal weapon. You have access to fires , gas , electricity , water , an explosive combination at the best of times.

Then pans and heavy roasting dishes would make effective heavy duty blunt instruments. Follow this up with meat skewers and something as innocent seeming as a cheese grater and potato peeler , in the wrong hands could do a lot of damage.

Then in the cutlery drawer you have knives and forks all of which would do your skin complexion no good whatsoever.

Oh yes then you can heat cooking oil and melt butter and spreads , which a remarkably efficient aid to skin removal.

This is before we hit the knife block and meat cleavers !! I'm just surprised that there arent an enormous number of cooking fatalities..

... and to think they let people like Gordon Ramsay in kitchens !!

Another Saturday

Well this is another post today. Interesting writing a blog post with no internet access but I'm using my iPad with my rickety case cum keyboard. Minor Injuries is quiet today at the RVI but foot is painful so hopefully can get something sorted today. But there are other things to distract my attention today.

 They have WiFi in here that will cost you a pound an hour. It's amazing that they can charge that when you can get superfast broadband for around twenty pounds a month. It's also amazing the number of people who walk in here expecting to be treated immediately. These are probably the same people who thing the NHS should be privatised to save the 5p in the pound of their taxable income.

Anyway today Newcastle United's Gallic army go to London to take on Tottenham Hotspur. Last year it was a five goal defeat courtesy of Harry Redknapp's team. They got rid of Harry and now have Andre Villas Boas , so it will be interesting to see the outcome, although it isnt likely I'll see the match and by the time I post this I will know the result. As a back for entertainment I have a copy of Stuart Maconie's Hope and Glory, which is entertaining but not as entertaining as the people watching I'm doing. An elderly couple complaining there are no shops, a group of girls , one in a wheely chair after a good night out.

The staff are al good natured and at times places like this must be dreadful. Have you ever noticed you can never easily pass an old person on a footpath. This confused me for years until it dawned on me what was happening. Normal people normally move slightly to make room so you can pass. Old people don't. It happened this morning, an old guy in front of me just stopped. He managed to take up the whole width of the footpath with his shopping bag so to get past I had to walk in the road I got to the bus stop and when he arrived he just parked himself at the front of the queue.

 Just heard the receptionist say that her husband has deleted her as a friend on Facebook. Quite funny. Apparently she now has a license to have a good time. The old couple nearby are getting on my nerves with their moaning. Well it's the wife actually. The husband is trying to make things easier and she's having none of it. Some folk are only happy when they are miserable.

 Now a charver family has appeared , screeching child in a push chair , moaning mutha and I think it's a daughter who has come for treatment. The Newcastle match is about to kick off so I am going to give this a rest.

Oh Tottenham beat Newcastle 2-1 with two excellent Gareth Bale goals

Who Will Be First?

Six years ago I walked into my present place of work (at the time Orange)  and picked up a company newspaper .The front page of the article stated that that they had a target of 30% market penetration with mobile phone ownership. The actual market penetratation at the time was something like 130% !! These figures may be coloured by the mists of time and so don't take them as gospel because they are based on my sieve like memory. However when you see suits on a train with a laptop , tablet and 3 phones trying to commandeer a table you can see the 130% market penetration in action.

Anyway, since that time companies have grown and evolved , and the things we have in our hands that we use to talk to each other bear no resemblance at all to Alexander Graham Bell's invention. In the late 80's a mobile phone required a briefcase sized battery pack and looked like you average military walkie talkie. Then battery technology came on leaps and bounds allowing creation of one piece phones that would actually fit in your hand. Sitting in the background at the the time you had the internet thing and you had the WAP protocol whence enabled very basic web access from the cutting edge phones. I always thought it looked rubbish but that's the only way progress is made. At the time it was groundbreaking , you could be in the middle of nowhere (assuming a signal) and find out the lasted horse racing results or football scores. A bit like Teletext and Ceefax on your phone.

Phones then got expanded keyboards , bigger screens , and eventually touch screen technology was integrated into the model. All the time capabilities are being enhances and phones can do more. I remember one of my Nokias had "Snake" on it , my Samsung Note 2 allows me to watch films , play "Broken Sword" , perform Office functions , connect to email , have a fully functioned web browser, and install new software if it takes my fancy. Of course this is all dependant on have a signal, but if my superfast 4G EE signal isnt available , I can connect to WiFi in Starbucks , Wetherspoons or wherever. So really it's not a phone is it?

It's a hand held computer, 20 years ago I was working on mainframes with less processing power that the device I have in my hand. It's three months since EE brought us into the 4G age in the UK , and the combined performance of device and signal means you can watch cath up TV whenever and wherever you want. My Samsung Note 2 is probably more powerful that the Star Trek communicators and tricorders. Combine with GPS if we had transporter beams we would be on a par with Star Trek. Even ten years ago you could not imagine being where we are now with these devices. EE is not , and never has been a phone company , it is about communications and connections , making the world more accessible and bringing people closer together.

Which brings me to the point of this post , we are not using mobile phones anymore , they are communication devices and hand held computers. However phone is a one syllable recognisable label. Mobil Phone is three but still recognisable. I am just wondering how long it will before someone instigates a new all encompassing name for these devices. If Steve Jobs were alive I would have said Apple , finally ditching the iPhone series with:

   "The iCom - It's not your phone , It's Your Life"

Twitter No More , Instagram No More ...

Not quite "Letter From America" by The Proclaimers , but it sounds sort of snappy. Today I deleted my Twitter and Instagram accounts. The real reason was that really I didnt get anything from them , and you do that many tweets or Instagram Pictures that they just get lost in the billions of posts on both planforms . Twitter is supposed to be 140 character limit yet allows pictures , and now 6 second video clips!! Instagram , while it has some interesting filters , results in a lot of dross between the good pictures , though I suppose you could say that of all digital photographs.

The other thing I think both these platforms stop you from posting anything interesting anywhere , you post almost without thinking. I know there's a lot of famous people on there , but if Stephen Fry says something really worth hearing it will find it's way out of Twitter.

I'll probably keep my Facebook account , as it has got me in touch with people who I'd lost touch with , and can enable me to do what I did on Twitter and Instagram.. So you won't see anymore hashtags from me , I don't know if my old tweets stay or will be removed , I'm not bothered either way. And if I hadn't deleted the accounts I wouldn't be writing this post.

Lot's of people like Twitter and find it useful , though some people just seem intent on following as many people as they can. Just decided they are not for me any more

Apple Are Annoying Me, Amazon get Worse, and Is Mike Ashley Newcastle's Best Ever Owner?

Apple have done some good stuff . They have made some stylish devices and via iTunes my main website enables me to have a steady income in a few clicks , or it would do if Apple / iTunes didnt keep changing the catalog numbers of items . Any reasonable company makes sure it's supplier can find products via a static reference, , but iTunes can recatalog an item in less than two wees , so my itunes link goesto iTunes and iTunes tells the customer that the item is no longer available. It actually is but iTunes have screwed the link and me and themselves out of a sale.

Not only tht the new version of itunes is attrocious , trying to load too much irrelevant information and take over your computer by filling the screen. Not good.

Amazon have now decided they will only pay commission on sales to brand new customers . So if I send an existing Amazon customer to buy something , I don't get commision. I could remove all my Amazon links but that would be a horrendous amout of work, and they can change the rules as they like because I , on my own , mean nothing to them. £50-£100 a month has dropped to £20 if I'm lucky. Amazon are the only company that do this. Having said that , at least their catalog numbers remain simple and constant and only disappear when the item does.

Le Toon Shirt

..and Mike Ashley , has had his foot in his mouth so many times , but has Newcastle United on a secure financial footing , and has Pardew (or Pardieu as he's now known)  and Carr and co building an amazingly entertaining team. They're still in Europe , which is more than can be said for Manchester City , and if you start to list list the players you enjoy wantching the list goes on. Krul , Guitierrez , Taylor , Ben Arfa , Santon , Anita , Cisse , Cabaye , Sissoko  and on and on. Remember the fans were sniffy when Demba Ba turned up but werent happy to see the back of him. Was great today to see the fans in their berets , taches with strings of onions. Ashley certainly creates the environment for the fans to feel good . Beating Chelsea 3-2 helps as well.

Casualty Blues

I'm writing this in the Casualty Department in Newcastle's Royal Victoria Hospital. I'm using a document producing office suite on my iPad , and like anything new still a bit unsure of how to use it. Text is coming out at a reasonable speed using my blu tooth keyboard and the spell checker is good but unobtrusive.

Anyway last time I was here there seemed a lot less people, but this time I've just turned up because of a possible bone fracture in my left foot. After this I have to go up a ladder to fix a gutter and that has to happen. The two situations however are mutually incompatible. I always criticise people for not following doctor's orders but I have a feeling that today I will be one of those. I've noticed the announcement system is not very in your face so I am slightly worried I may miss my appointment.

I've just had a thought I hope this office suite can do a full cut and paste or I will be more than a bit miffed.

There's no mobile signal in here so I cant even look for outside entertainment though there are plenty of people franticly messing with their phones in the forlorn hope of finding a signal. You shouldn't use your phone in a hospital for similar reasons why you shouldn't use one on an airplane. It could interfere with sensitive equipment. As I say almost everyone here is messing with at least one phone.

It is quiet and I will soon save this and go back to reading Stuart Maconie's Hope and Glory, which is proving more laborious that expected as I zipped through his previous books Cider With Roadies and Pies and Prejudice , but it may be just my current state of mind (exhaustion). I've just read Shaun Ryder's Twisting My Melon and that was a fairly easy if unexpectedly hefty read.

Anyway when I realised I would have another two hours to wait decided to make an appointment with my GP and get myself sorted that way.