Bloody Windows - #AnimalAugust #13

Last night I was ready for bed, checked a couple of things on the computer, and when I went to shut down there was another update available. As usual I Ok's it and it started staying on 0% and telling me to not swith my machine off, then severak restarts and loads of times staying on the same level. You never have a clue how long these things take and the various indicators never tell you how long it's going to be.

Eddie Izzard nails the situation in his Computers and Terms and Conditions stand up routine which you can watch here. This happens time and time again. Also recently Microsoft applications stopped giving you a time line and replacing them with a blue spinning circle and you haven't a clue what is happening.

#AnimalAugust is going to be "The Bonny Black Hare" by Fairport Convention , the thing is it's a traditional folk song , and it's not really about a rabbit related mammal, but the title will do for the sequence.

Last Night A Laptop Stole My Life

Well Windows 10 decided to do an upgrade, it started about 1):30 last night and went on with that ominous warning "Do Not Switch Off Your Computer" while staying for a very long time on 0% Complete.. The thing is it started progressing every now and then with several restarts before finally finishing at 1:30 this morning. I actually wanted to go to bed, but that was three hours of my life gone and when it's finally finished what has changed? ..... Nothing!!

Then it did it again tonight  though this time it was five minutes, which a slight blessing.This put me in mind of Eddie Izzard's upgrade routine, which I will share with you before I go to bed.

Ten

After months of waiting Windows 10 has come to my Zoostorm Tower . It's like the Eddie Izzard sketch  you wait forever for the upgrade and what changes? Well more store things more things on your start up that you don't want there and basically it's the same as it was before . I will obviously gove it a chance , well I don't really have a choice now do ? Oh it has Cortana which is Windows version of Siri . Love to see an argument between Cortana and Siri

Today has been a draggy day but those things happen . All of a sudden I've finished with the music Odyssey and really surprised that the last post has virtually no views for some reason. I got photographed by the Evening Chronicle last night in this gallery here in the protest against more government cuts.

Anyway I know its only short but enjoy the rest of your Wednesday , I hope my next post will be more substantial

Cortana Zombie

Unlimited? Really?

un·lim·it·ed  

/ˌənˈlimitid/

Adjective Not limited or restricted in terms of number, quantity, or extent. (of a company) Not limited.

Synonyms boundless - unbounded - limitless - infinite

One of my biggest annoyance is the number of phone and broadband companies who offer (in usually BIG type) UNLIMITED* services , the in small type somewhere on the page or brochure often in type that is unreadable to me (I am old and decrepit)  a *subject to fair usage policy which may imply that that they will limit or stop your plan if you exceed that amount.

The problem is that texts and voice time minutes are now almost not bothering about and can be made truly unlimited , but if your text or minutes limits are say 5000 why not say that?   Companies should not be redefining language - that is a euphemism for lying.

I am not going to mention any companies by name , though everyone knows who I work for , and am pleased that at least they are showing plans with defined data amounts that are in your face when you buy it. I admire honesty.

One thing I've recently learned is that 15 minutes browsing on Facetime will use 20MB of data , that's a short time on one app , I could to three or four times that amount on my way to and from work . You can see how that mounts up. People often just see their plans in terms of minutes and texts, not realising that they are actually using data.

Lots of friends including people going abroad (where data can cost £8 a Mb ! 15 minutes of Facetime £160 !! - Downloading a film you'll pay for the rest of your life :) ). Fiona just uses Facetime and The Guardian yet is racking up 1.5 GB a month - in certain countries that would cost  £12000 if my maths is correct.

So next time you see someone offering UNLIMITED* subject to fair usage policy , check it out or ask the person in the shop what it means and get them to put their signature on it.

I think Eddie Izzard's rant on iTune's Terms and Conditions is very pertinent here.

Bloat

I don't know about you , but it seems to me that a lot of software is written with the prime aim in mind of bringing you device to a halt. Anything that is to do with media , seems to want to grab all the system resources , fill your whole screen , try and sell you anything , while making it as difficult as possible to leave the applicattion.

Many years ago I used musicmatc which had a low footprint , was fast at ripping and burning and was perfect for managing my music. Then Yahoo bought it out and trashed it with malware making it unusable and forcing you to use their iTunes-a-like software , which didnt work either. I was then forced to use Winamp , which is the best of a bad bunch , a resource hungry annoying piece of software.

However even that pales in the face of the latest rubbish that iTunes have given to us. Just in case you didnt realise it was grabbing all your system resources , it fills your screen and thows all sorts of things at you that it thinks you may want. Then all the other bloatware it forces on you Bojour, Quicktime , iPod Helper (I don't have or want a f**king iPod as well as about 20 other programs that you have to unpick from your system. Oh and went you update you have a 43 page terms and conditions document , that no one can read or understand.

It seems to me that everyone thinks that Terms and Conditions need to emulate War and Peace. They dont , the need to be clkear and concise and should fit on a sheet of A4 in at least a 14pt font , with lots of white space so you can easily understand what you are taking on. I recently picked up a brochure from a mobile phone company and the Terms and Conditions took about 5 pages at the end of the catalogue in closely typed difficault to read font. I bet anyone over thirty would not be able to read it and anyone under thirty wouldnytt bother anyway.

Anyway I want a simple suite of small footprint software that does the job , not takes over your machine.

Rant over

Apple: License To Make You Ill!!

I think where we're under pressure we tend to want to hit out at something , though sometimes the pressure is not caused by anything you have any control over so the upport of peers and friends becomes important in helping you through. The thing is it makes to more susceptible to hit out out when things go wrong , though generally I don't do "under pressure" , I do "laid back" and that works for me . Calming down  is a great way to become really productive, but ......

Yesterday was talking to a friend who hadn't heard of Eddie Izzard when I mentioned his "Star Wars Death Star Canteen" sketch and his 43 Marathons in 51 days , and this little observation on iTunes came up , which spurred this post!!:



Anyway a few weeks back I got an Apple iPad and general it's fine . I subscribe to the Sunday Times which includes a subscriptions via the iPad Apllication , so I thought rather than going out to the shop I'd just get it on the iPad . No way - the copy is there but the download is greyed out . I can download free bits but this week it wont let me download the bit I've paid for , which I was going to do so Fiona could read it while I went to the shop to get my paper copy , along with some Lavazza or Taylor's of Harrogate Coffee , but No - I could download my PAID FOR Sunday Times copy , so had to make do with the paper copy.

The thing is , all apps are supposed to go therough rigourous testing and you have to pay Apple $100 to get your app on the Apps Store. I've given up complaining to Apple or anything to do with then because they will never admit there is a problem.

Despite the effective dropping of DRM for music Apple still include their own licensing information and this does fail at times but they wondt admit it . It happened to me and they gave me five song credits but never admitted that anything had gone  wrong.

And Eddie Izzard is right about the terms and conditions . They keep bringing out new versions of iTunes which also includes Quicktime , Bonjour (odd name for an American Product given they renamed French Fries Freedom Fries when the French would supply cannon fodder for The Iraq War) , and it's always a full 100 Mb download . Sometimes updates are days apart. Once around version 10 the download failed because the wrong version of Quicktime was bundled. But al ltheat happened that you were left with a dead version of iTunes.

Apple wouldnt admit there was a fault , they're as bad as football referees with their Teflon attitudes!

Apple products are fine , I just which they would hold their hands up now and then and admit they can't get it right every time.. Any here's the Death Star Canteen  sketch: